…There I would be, riding gaily down the sidewalk on my pink banana seat Schwinn, listening to a Disney tape that I had in a portable cassette player in the basket of my bike, when John would come out of nowhere to burn my tires. I never knew he was there until he was about fifteen feet away, and by then it was too late. In nervous terror I would look over my shoulder and there he was, with his growth stunted legs pumping those pedals (so help me God, he reached speeds of thirty miles an hour), hellbent on catching me. “Better ride faster, I’m gonnnnnnnnnna get you,” he taunted, knowing full well that I couldn’t out run him. Two seconds later came the burn… read more
Things I’ve been paid in this week (all true):
one stromboli, a chocolate thing that didn’t stand a chance, nine pigs in a blanket, a dozen doughnuts, a magnet, a shopping bag…
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How Steve interviews: Blah blah blah, market analysis this, and Wall Street Journal that.
How Amy interviews: Blah blah blah, my butt is showing through the hole in my jeans this, and no I’ve never been officially arrested that.
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…At the time I was pretty sure this was Lou Holtz. Looking at it now I see that it is not all all him. But they both wear glasses, so you can see where the confusion might come from… click to read what else I was looking at instead of the game.
Now that my family has all of these terrible vices like “eating food” and “paying the electric bill” it’s time for me to work again with some frequency. For the past few years it’s been people who already know me who have have entrusted their children to me, so if I say something like vagina fart they’re just like oh ha ha ha, that’s just Amy and it in no way makes me want to pay her less in fact, I think I’ll give her a raise and buy her a doughnut… click to read more
Exciting news: The roof squirrels are back for another season! There haven’t been any antics thus far–just nest building with squirrel-like materials–but they look to be revving up for something hard core because we see them out there all day long dragging lair building materials up into our porch roof. Steve caught one of… [keep reading]
Seeing as how I do not actually go to school here, and therefore have no right to use said library or nap chairs, I try to fit in when I come to the business school so I don’t get kicked out. Here are a couple of reasons why I’m not fooling anyone.
1. Instead of a brief case or a Coach bag, I am carrying a backpack with my name on the front of it. It smells vaguely of cat pee.
