Overheard
Things Argued
Amy: “My gums aren’t bleeding because I have gingivitis, they’re bleeding because I’m hungover.”
Things Shouted
Ella: “Addison just threw her toothbrush in the potty while I was doing a poop!”
Things Threatened
Addison: “Addie trying to take off Ella’s foot.”
Things muttered
Steve: “I’m so very confused.”
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Regarding the Easter Bunny
Maybe you have gingivitis because your toothbrush is covered in poop too.
Ridiculous when you said it outloud last weekend; ridiculous when I just read it.
Sooooooooo, I was sent this way via Ranger Up. I want to see Nick in shorty shorts, but by dint of commenting, he gets the point. Can I say that last night, I walked into my bathroom and next to the toilet was a canister of cheesy Pringles and the words, “Whose chips are these and who took a dookie and didn’t flush” came out of my mouth??
Oh, that’s fantastic. I remember one time saying “Stop putting pasta in your eye!” as if this wasn’t an obvious thing not to do. And I like the word “dookie.” I think I’m going to start reincorporating it into my lingo.
It’s been a long time since I’ve strung together phrases that make absolutely no sense; it’s nice not having ankle biters underfoot anymore. Of course, I have plenty of friends with kids, and the g/f’s second job is working retail in the kids’ section of a major department store, so I get my fill.
My wife and I have no children so we live vicariously through her sister who has three of her own and two she inherited when she married. The stepsons are now in college and pretty much on their own. The other three, however, have been a constant source for comedians namely themselves.
When they moved into their new home a few years ago we were there to help unpack. There was a **THUMP** from down the hall and their mother shouted, “Kyle! Stop dropping your sister down the laundry shoot!”
My wife and I just, sorta, blinked.
The we heard, “but mom!” The voice wasn’t that of Kyle…but his sister from the laundry hamper. She is now in gymnastics. The best part about gymnastics if you ask her? tumbling. whoda thunk it.
GREAT WRITING AMY! You can make some money at this!! Nick is right! and of course…VETS KICK ASS! (this is my second such comment…does it count for 2 points?)