Seriously? I have to parent them? Like every day?
Today was Ella’s last day of preschool, which seems wildly unfair seeing as how I distinctly remember going through July 32nd as a kid. Now I’m sitting here looking a summer of parenting in the eye and I don’t like what I see. Or hear. Here are Ella’s plans for the summer:
She says she is going to get up early one day and wake me up and teach me how to clean bedrooms because apparently I don’t know how to do this properly. Or at all. Furthermore, Ella finds my strategy of just keeping the door closed to be an unacceptable way of addressing the closet situation and is going to fix it for me.
She thinks we should return our overdue library books.
She would like me to take down the rest of the Christmas lights. (But then how would the Memorial Day fairy find his way, let alone Uncle Sam or the Labor Day elf?)
She would like to learn how to fly.
She would also like to have her preschool boyfriend over for a sleepover party.
After the end of the year class party yesterday, I asked Ella’s teacher what would happen if I just kept dropping her off in front of the school. She thought I was kidding and said if it was Ella, she’d take her home with her. I mentioned that it might be Addison sitting out front as well. Still not convinced I wasn’t kidding she chuckled and told me the school would call me. “But what if I don’t answer the phone?” I asked as we strolled toward the parking lot. That’s when she took out a note pad and wrote down my license plate number. So it looks like leaving them at school is out. I guess there’s always Camp Sarah… Lord knows our turtle ain’t coming back.
First Day of Preschool, September 2007
Last Day of Preschool, May 2009
Addison’s last day of preschool passed without fan fare last week. The poor child went to school in a nightgown and a rain coat that day. If she asks about it in a few years, tell her we had a big party for her. She was just too drunk young to remember.
This is funny! My little girl has the same nightgown!
No worries Amy! The pool will be our FRIEND!! As long as I can lose enough weight to not be embarrassed in my bathing suit though…
Indeed, MAKE the pool your friend and go now, to the nearest store. Once there, you go to the food storage /wrap section. GLAD makes these lovely cups with lids that are blue. There is a sippy opening or a straw opening. Perfect for disguising adult beverages to consume at the pool…and it definitely takes the edge off!! You can thank me later, with a cyber cup of Dunkin’!!
Can you mail her to Wisconsin(COD even). I could use help with cleaning the bedrooms. Does she do bathrooms too? (when my son was really small, I used to tie sponges to his feet, toss soapy water on the floor and let him “skate” in the bathroom….they do an amazing cleaning job
Alas at 17, he has figured out that is actaully work. I do have to differ with your tiny domestic diva on one thing. If you can close a closet door, that counts as cleaning.
All I can say is: quite the cast of characters. go for the beer sippy at walmart. people will just think it’s sparkling apple juice, right? and what’s funny is the nightgown, nothing else? This is the only blog I know where the comments are almost as entertaining as the content itself:)
Yes, you have to parent them. God knows I’d only end up giving them quesadillas in bed.
All, I would like it to be known that tossing a quesadilla in her crib is, truly, how Steve (Just Barely the dad) parented the problem of Addison not going to sleep the other night. Now THAT’s strong parenting.