A slug and a Japanese Beetle walk into a bar… and then they die.
I got dive bombed by my first Japanese beetle of the season this morning. The thing came out of nowhere and plowed into my forehead at top speed. It made a thunk sound when it hit and almost knocked me over–but then again, my own feet knock me over most of the time. Anyway, as anyone with any experience with beetles knows, when these suckers arrive, they do so with a vengeance. I took a look at my crepe myrtle on my way in the door and saw that it’s pretty much twigs and beetles now.
I used to have a beetle trap, but the scented lure seemed to attract beetles who, high on pheromones, were drawn to my hair rather than the inside of the trap. Plus, we never emptied the thing, so when beetles did go in it they’d collect in the bag until it became too heavy for the twist tie that was holding it up and so the trap would fall down and all of the beetles would swarm out and be all, “F-you for trying to trap us. Now we’re going to nest in your hair again. Only this time, we’re digging in our little beetle barbs so we get all tangled in there and when you try to pull us out beetle legs will be left in your hair. We’ll be legless, but it’ll be totally worth it.”
Growing up we had a bunch of really tall hedges lining the side of our yard. Beetles loved these hedges, and would flock to them like bees to a crazy bee person’s bee beard. My siblings and I would get wiffle ball bats and smack the hedges as hard as we could and millions of beetles would swarm out while we screamed and ran away. Thirty seconds later they’d be back in the hedges and we’d be back at it again with the wiffle ball bats. I have no idea why this was so thrilling to us, but it was. As it turns out, extermination via children wielding wiffle ball bats was, in the end, a totally ineffective way of ridding ourselves of beetles. So now I suppose I need to figure out what their drink of choice is, so they can belly up next to the slugs. It’s open bar at the Rossi-Bartlett house! (And now I’m going to have a bunch of hobos on my front steps. Hobos with beetle beards.)
(By the way, if anyone has a less jackass way of getting rid of beetles, especially one where everyone dies happy, I’d like to hear it.)
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Hi Amy! I love your blog
Beetles and slugs…that doesn’t sound like fun. I’d probably lock myself inside with a can of bug spray. This: http://www.gardensalive.com/product.asp?pn=8659 is supposed to “repel” the beetles though, I don’t know if it works but it seems a lot less messy than a bag full of dead beetles…or live beetles…
Hobos with beetle beards? Excellent….
You’re one strange cookie sometimes Amy!
mmmmm… strange cookies.
I use “SEVEN” dust, I have had good luck with it for years.
Works great for other infestation too.
Er, um….I’ve got lots of wiffle ball bats!
And, I share.
I have heard the best way to keep these away is to raise chickens in your yard! Like I need another excuse to go get some chickens! I am sure Steve and TC would LOVE IT!
Try these tips for eliminating them from your garden.
Heinz Apple Cider Vinegar Place a bucket filled with equal parts Heinz Apple Cider Vinegar and water under plants infested with Japanese beetles, and knock the insects into the acid solution. The vinegar kills the pests.
Johnson’s Baby Oil and McCormick Garlic Powder Mix one bottle of Johnson’s Baby Oil with two tablespoons McCormick Garlic Powder in a trigger-spray bottle. Shake well, and spray the bases of fruit trees, rose bushes, and berry bushes to prevent Japanese beetles from attacking.
McCormick Garlic Powder and Ivory Dishwashing Liquid Mix three tablespoons McCormick Garlic Powder, 1/2 teaspoon Ivory Dishwashing Liquid, and one quart water in a blender to create a concentrate. Pour two ounces of the concentrate into a 16-ounce trigger-spray bottle, fill the rest of the bottle with water, shake well, and spray rose bushes, fruit trees, and berry bushes to repel Japanese beetles.
Tabasco Pepper Sauce, Ground (Cayenne) Red Pepper, and Ivory Dishwashing Liquid To repel Japanese beetles from roses and grapevines, mix two tablespoons Tabasco Pepper Sauce, two tablespoons McCormick Ground Red Pepper, three drops Ivory Dishwashing Liquid, and two cups water in a 16-ounce trigger-spray bottle. Spray the soil with the solution wherever Japanese beetles are giving you trouble.
SEVEN DOES IT
FIRE! It always kills stuff… that or chlorine.
Then you kill beatles and get to commit arson at the same time! Go pyros!
I like the way you think. We have an overgrown ornamental grass out front that won’t die. I’ve been trying to set fire to it for years, but my husband won’t let me. Kill joy.