Skyfari
For the second year in a row, my saintly in-laws took the children away for two weeks in July. When other parents ask where the children are and I tell them they are far far away for fourteen whole days, they get dreamy looks on their faces for a few seconds while radiating envy then ask the inevitable, “But don’t you miss the little darlings?”, to which I answer “No, no I don’t.” Then these parents get a look on their faces similar to the look people give me when someone asks if I want to see pictures of their baby and I say, “Sure, do you want to the the ultrasound of the cyst I have on my uterus? Cause I have a picture, right here in my wallet…”. Really though, I am concerned when they leave. In fact, here’s a picture of me fretting over the well being of my kids while they’re away:

But all good things have to come to an end, and last week SAHS and I went down to the Lake of the Ozarks to fetch the children and vacation for a week with Steve’s family. I expected the kids to be bursting with stories of their adventures when I walked through the condo door, but they just nodded in my direction and kept on playing with their My Little Ponies.
“Hey kids, how was Omaha? I went to the beach, visited a couple of wineries, ate a lot of cheese, drank a lot of vodka and read books without pictures! What did you do?”
“I played in Nani’s pantry!” Ella said enthusiastically. Fair enough. “How about you, Ad?” Nothing. I reached back into my memory to come up with something exciting they did. I know! The zoo! What fun! Just look at all of the great stuff to see and do at the Henry Doorly zoo:
She had to have something great to say about that. “Addison, did you go to the zoo? What did you see? What was your favorite part? Cheetah Valley? Hoofstock? Sue’s Wildlife Carousel? History???” I asked, as their grandparents waited with her response with proud smiles on their faces as they thought about all of the great things they saw and did with the kids.
Addison thought about it for a second, smiled, and exclaimed, “I threw up on Skyfari!”
It seems as if their time off was as memorable as mine.
—
Regarding the shorts…
Ralph and Curt, thank you for your kind words, Curt especially for the expletive “F*%*(O#)” in front of “smoking hot.” I’m putting that one on my resume–take that, corporate America! And by “corporate America” I mean the people for whom I babysit. KC, my legs are twice as long and a smidge less hairy than Nick’s, so I suppose I win this round. Congrats again on the book! Read Crigger’s new book, minions! I demand it! (and then send me a book report or a shoebox diorama or something so I can pretend I did.) Jackson’s Mixed Martial Arts
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I heard next time around they wanted some really cute half Asian children. I am sure of it!