There’s a good chance I threw away some truly holy s&%# and now I’m going to hell. Plus I’m out of whiskey.
It’s been a week and I still haven’t figured out who left the flaming bag of poo on my front steps. Lord knows I’d claim it pretty much instantly because of the inherent awesomeness of the action. I’ve gone through my Twitter account and I don’t think there’s anyone left who actually follows JustBarely on Twitter and who lives within a thirty mile range of the greater Durham area who hasn’t adamantly denied doing it, which means it was either Jesus, because everyone knows He can apparate at will (isn’t that somewhere in the Apostles Creed or something?), leaving poo on the doorstop of true believers (OMG, did I just throw a pile of singed sacred poo -holy s&%#- over the fence?) OR it was one of those creepy people on Twitter who claim to be located in places like “a court-mandated 400 ft away,” “buried in Baltimore,” “in the trunk of a car,” or “Dubuque” (I mean, who the hell lives there?) My subsequent Twitter challenge to leave an unflaming paper bag of whiskey on my front steps has yet to be met. I double dog dare any one (or twenty) of you to do it. Go!
Bonus Material:
Something sweet I found while looking for a picture of Jesus to use on the front page:
The caption was "Don't turn Jesus on." -props to sepultura on Flikr
and this when I was looking for a good whiskey picture to go on the front page so Jesus wouldn’t apparate in my living room and send me to hell for using non-reverent pictures of him:
credit for this find goes to bryan champ on Flkr
and that is why you get the flaming bag picture again.
Way to throw in Dubuque, just to see if I really read your blog. HA. I do (well, at least this post–I mean it is pretty hard to pass up a title like that).
Hadn’t really been here for oh so long but it wasn’t because I was thinking about you in this instant. Actually I was doing a google on the economic crisis and I panicked a bit about possible whiskey shortages… and look where it lands me… cleaning out the closet of posts with broken links and wanted to check to ensure our superhero lady was still receiving enough oxygen, but the whiskey line has me truly concerned… is this a temporary condition or just a momentary lapse?
Alright, I’ve got some more things to break, now where did I put that bottle of rum?
Semper Fi, Hank
recommended by Rangerup, great stories.
RLTW!!!
vets kick ass