Half-Assed Resolutions
Amy’s Half-Assed Resolutions for 2010:
I will stop wearing skanky jean shorts my Bud Light Beer Pong hat the t-shirt that says “Ho Box” on it to Kindergarten pickup (mostly because I don’t even know what that means but I have a feeling it might be offensive).
I will stop eating things that are off the floor on the top of the garbage in the recycling bin.
I will not drink more than four six eight Pabst Blue Ribbon Beers in one sitting.
Similarly, I will not put Jack Daniels in my tea every night before I go to bed before noon.
I will use a straightening iron use a hair dryer brush my hair at least six four times a week.
I will shave my legs more than twice a week at least once a week at least every other week.
I will finally get rid of my high school cross country uniform the troll penis inside my fridge underwear from college.
I will figure out what asepsis means and maybe steal buy rent one if it’s a noun.
I will write Just Barely the book before I die. And you will buy it (so I can afford an asepsis).
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As for you, your doctor wants you to Subscribe to JustBarely.net this year. He told me so while you were turning your head and coughing.
(credit for the thumbnail photo goes to http://www.flickr.com/photos/lanylane/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)
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I think you just pulled a Jedi mind trick on me. I feel the irresistible urge to buy your book even though there’s no physical way to do so…these aren’t the droids we want.
Aw, you’re just saying that b/c I put on a ridiculous outfit and whore shoes and pretended to read your book for the camera. Y’all can check out Kelly’s book and my whore shoes at http://www.kellycrigger.com. Do it!
I’ll buy the book. Admittedly, it’s mainly because you rocked the Ranger gear. Also, no Jack before noon? Ah- but Wild Turkey is still okay! (Early Times is for drinking before 0900, btw…hence the name.)
*sigh* I love those shoes…
I’m just disappointed I can’t find the photos of you at RangerUp anymore – those were some really good shots.