Wow, you must be really disappointed.

People come to Just Barely for a variety of reasons.  Sometimes they are folks who have subscribed to Just Barely, sometimes they are moms who have spit up on one shoulder, poop on the other, and a beer in each hand, more often they people who are very very bored at work, once a week they are my husband making sure that I haven’t written about anything too idiotic that he’s going to have clean up later, sometimes they are my mom, and sometimes they are people who have come looking for balls.

The last time I checked the analytics for my site I noticed a big spike in traffic on January 20, so I clicked for details to find out why.  What I found was both shocking and encouraging.  People who came to Just Barely via search engine that day were looking for the following key words:

An open letter to my public:

Dear Fans,

I thought I made it clear in People Who Have Lost Their Way, killing mold is an inappropriate use of vodka.  Unless the mold is in your mouth.

For the person looking for balls hanging out of shorts, I have this story to offer: Balls on the Table.

As for the soul who was searching for photos of balls out of shorts, I sadly have none.  But if you go to Balls on the Table and let your eyes wander about an inch down from the pit stains on Batman’s costume, you can make out the outline of my friend Brody’s balls.  I hope that at least tides you over until you can find more suitable balls to looks at.

Finally, person who asked if a guy’s balls should hang in front of his legs, the answer is yes.  It’s okay if they tend to settle to one side or the other, but if someone asks “How’s it hangin?” “Around back” is an unacceptable answer.  You should get that looked at.

—
I just realized I used the word “balls” 13 times in this post, thereby inadvertently search engine optimizing my site for people surfing the internet looking for ball-related content, which was my exact dream when I started this blog.  Everything’s coming up Amy.
—
OH MY GOD, I just googled “balls hanging out of shorts” to see how many pages of results people would have to plow through before they finally got to Just Barely and MY SITE CAME UP FIRST!
—
The second result was Captain Nutsack exposes balls at Burger King! Take that, Captain Nutsack!