Just Barely » It’s all about me

Nantahala Chainsaw Massacre (or Why my husband’s a jerk)

Amy — Tue, 18 May 2010 18:30:21 +0000

At one point Steve took to hiding the saw. But I am not to be deterred...

Why People Shouldn’t Give Me Tickets to Things

Amy — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 19:21:43 +0000

...At the time I was pretty sure this was Lou Holtz. Looking at it now I see that it is not all all him. But they both wear glasses, so you can see where the confusion might come from... click to read what else I was looking at instead of the game.

Nailed It!

Amy — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:00:03 +0000

Now that my family has all of these terrible vices like "eating food" and "paying the electric bill" it's time for me to work again with some frequency. For the past few years it's been people who already know me who have have entrusted their children to me, so if I say something like vagina fart they're just like oh ha ha ha, that's just Amy and it in no way makes me want to pay her less in fact, I think I'll give her a raise and buy her a doughnut... click to read more

Half-Assed Resolutions

Amy — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 20:27:25 +0000

Amy’s Half-Assed Resolutions for 2010:

I will stop wearing skanky jean shorts my Bud Light Beer Pong hat the t-shirt that says “Ho Box” on it to Kindergarten pickup (mostly because I don’t even know what that means but I have a feeling it might be offensive).

I will stop eating… [keep reading]

Best. Birthday Present. Ever. -Updated-

Amy — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:20:10 +0000

For my 31st birthday I got a Dunkin Donuts bumper sticker and a lacy thong in the mail from my aunts and my grandmother.

Seeing as how I can’t imagine the day getting any better, or funkier, I’m going back to bed.

—

Wait, it just got better. My neighbor just gave me a… [keep reading]

Skyfari

Amy — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 00:15:29 +0000

For the second year in a row, my saintly in-laws took the children away for two weeks in July. When other parents ask where the children are and I tell them they are far far away for fourteen whole days, they get dreamy looks on their faces for a few seconds while radiating envy then… [keep reading]

It Could Be Worse, I Suppose.

Amy — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:35:00 +0000

I’ve been wallowing in self-pity a lot this week. The oral hygienist told me I have gingivitis even though I’m one of the ten people on the face of the earth who actually does floss, Addison spilled our sea monkeys all over the ottoman, I got a cold and realized we were out of both… [keep reading]

Thirty and a Half is the new 40

Amy — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:37:00 +0000

This past August I passed gracefully into my 30s. It really wasn’t a big deal–I was still hip, I was still cool (no I wasn’t). I wore Converse sneakers and listened to the Top 20 on 20 (when I wasn’t listening to 90s on 9). As it turns out, 30 may not have been… [keep reading]

Nemesis Part Two: The Next Level

Amy — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:42:00 +0000

Read Nemesis Part I to find out how (I think) I got one to begin with.

“I have a nemesis” I proudly told my friend as we sat across from each other at a table in the food court. This sort of thing is right up her alley, so she leaned in, waiting to… [keep reading]

Nemesis: Part One: How (I think) I got one

Amy — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 19:19:00 +0000

We all sat around the room facing each other for meet the teacher night for Addison’s new class. The air was abuzz with excitement–some of it nervous, some joyous. Those who were sending a child off for the first time sat ramrod straight, glancing around the room for reassurance that they were doing the right… [keep reading]