Just Barely » The art of domesticity

Three French hens, two turtledoves, and a bunch of *%$@ in our Christmas tree

Amy — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 03:33:22 +0000

At first glance, this looks like a typical, dead-because-no-one-has-watered-it-since-Christmas-day, mid-January Christmas tree. But the youngest has been singing, “Decorating the tree, decorating the tree, Addison is the greatest at decorating the tree!” and prancing about with strange objects, so let us take a closer look.

In other… [keep reading]

Stand-Off

Amy — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 16:08:46 +0000

Something horrible happened to the toothpaste about three months ago–Or, I should say, something horrible started happening to the toothpaste about three months ago. It started with an explosion of some sort, or perhaps a stabbing. Toothpaste is all over the bathroom drawer, making a sticky, minty coating on everything else in it. Prescription drugs,… [keep reading]

Aprons, Playdates, and Parted Hair

Amy — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:56:35 +0000

So I have this friend Meg who wears ironed aprons, has perfectly parted hair, and served us grilled angel food cake with strawberries on china for a play date snack. I even had a saucer for my coffee. This, after I offered up a frozen pizza and whatever the kids could find on the kitchen… [keep reading]

I think I just found a troll penis in my refrigerator

Amy — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 19:45:33 +0000

For reals. It started out with me throwing out the four flat bottles of tonic in the fridge to make room for the new bottle I opened to carbonate my gin, but then I was on a roll and started tossing other useless food stuffs. Scrambled eggs from last week, gone. Prime rib that was… [keep reading]

Treasure Trove of Awesomeness

Amy — Tue, 05 May 2009 03:15:30 +0000

Last Tuesday night I took a half of an Ambien, had a big glass of wine, and went to bed at 9:45.

On Wednesday I woke up to find the shelves in my closet had fallen off the wall in the night and that I had slept through it.

I tried just… [keep reading]

Learning to Read and Write

Amy — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 17:46:00 +0000

“Mommy, will you please help me make my bed in the morning? Because I like it to be nice and neat and not messy.”
“Sure, I’ll help you.”
“Can we write a note? Because yesterday and the yesterday before that and the yesterday before that you said you would help me and you keep on… [keep reading]

Further Updates

Amy — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 16:54:00 +0000

Ok, I have heard back from a few more starter recipients.

The nurse at my psychiatrist’s office straight up killed her starter. The poor thing never really had a chance. She claims I never gave her the directions, but I think she’s just cold hearted. If you get in touch with your inner-yeast and… [keep reading]

Recipe For Disaster

Amy — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 02:00:00 +0000

Amish Friendship Bread Starter (Don’t say I didn’t warn you):

1 pkg. active dry yeast
1/4 cup warm water
1 cup flour
1 cup sugar
1 cup warm milk

Soften active dry yeast with 1/4 cup of warm water for about 10 minutes. Stir with a [keep reading]

Reflections on (a million) bread starters

Amy — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 14:02:00 +0000

Wow, the tale of my Amish Nightmare has caused quite a few responses–some contemplative, some slightly morbid.
Sarah has really chewed over the phenomena of the bread starter and has come up with some brilliant theories. Allow me to share:

Amish Bread and the Devil’s Mathematics

There is a sequence of numbers… [keep reading]

Amish Nightmare

Amy — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 18:51:00 +0000

“I have a question to ask you,” my friend told me over the phone. She sounded a little nervous, and I wondered what in the world she could want. “Would you be interested in taking an Amish bread starter?” Really, that was it? A bread starter? That sounded pretty harmless. “It’s okay if you… [keep reading]