Just Barely » Would somebody please shut me up

Just a few of the many reasons why we shouldn’t be allowed to interact with nature

Amy — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 01:41:21 +0000

As if the bird photography, squirrel in a rubbermaid, mysterious circumstances of Franklin’s disappearance (as well as the subsequent kidnapping and release of Frankie) and bat catching outfits aren’t enough, here are ten more reasons why my family shouldn’t be allowed to interact with nature.

Reason #1:” Snakey” the First… [keep reading]

Nailed It!

Amy — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:00:03 +0000

Now that my family has all of these terrible vices like "eating food" and "paying the electric bill" it's time for me to work again with some frequency. For the past few years it's been people who already know me who have have entrusted their children to me, so if I say something like vagina fart they're just like oh ha ha ha, that's just Amy and it in no way makes me want to pay her less in fact, I think I'll give her a raise and buy her a doughnut... click to read more

In Other Nature News…

Amy — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 19:40:42 +0000

We have this bad-ass spider that builds a giant bad-ass web on our screenless screened-in porch every night. My fourth favorite birthday present (after the dunkin donuts-thong combo from my Grammy and the bottle of gin from my friend Kelly) is a camera that is full of lenses and shutter speeds instead of the… [keep reading]

Amy and her Amazing Flying Flaming Roof Squirrels!

Amy — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 17:30:38 +0000

Something absolutely awesome is going on at my house right now. Squirrels are running around inside of the porch roof. That’s right, inside of it. Not on top of it, or under it, but actually inside of it. They are able to get in there because two years ago their brethren chewed holes through the… [keep reading]

A slug and a Japanese Beetle walk into a bar… and then they die.

Amy — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 00:49:29 +0000

I got dive bombed by my first Japanese beetle of the season this morning. The thing came out of nowhere and plowed into my forehead at top speed. It made a thunk sound when it hit and almost knocked me over–but then again, my own feet knock me over most of the time. Anyway, as… [keep reading]

Balls on the Table

Amy — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:25:40 +0000

Seriously people, is there anything more disturbingly fascinating than balls? The thing that I find the most interesting about balls is what some guys choose to do with them. Take, for instance, my friend Fake Name. Fake Name used to use his balls to signal when he was done with something. If he was out… [keep reading]

Slugs, Beer, and a Post that makes no sense

Amy — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 13:44:40 +0000

Every year when the weather turns warm, and the flowers start to bloom, and the birds start doing it in the back yard, we get slugs. Lots and lots of slugs. And they stay pretty much through Thanksgiving. I counted 60 of them on my driveway one night last October. Our slugs are traditionally ruled… [keep reading]